Who doesn't enjoy the warm glow of validation that comes from having others strongly agree with their opinions?
It's a great feeling; it's encouraging, and a gentle massage to our self-confidence.
Without this experience, all but the most arrogant of us would soon be wracked with self-doubt, so it's certainly not a bad thing.
But... everything in moderation!
At time-of-writing I'm in the position of having a team who are incredibly comfortable in voicing their opinion. Whether they're just brutal or a little further along the spectrum than the average developer I can't be certain, but I do know I can rely on hearing their opinions.
Not a great environment if you're sensitive, but it does force me to challenge my views, thoughts, and actions on a regular basis. And on the assumption that I'm not always correct, which my wife assures me is the case, that's a great thing!
To stay in that optimal spot between the comfort zone and a place that will cause you to panic you cannot stay in an echo chamber of carbon-copy opinions.
"[A person] does well to encounter those of whom she has little knowledge orthoses by whom she feels threatened or intimidated. The benefits of this broadening of social experience go far beyond a simple increase in understanding of actual people and groups she meets. In more general terms it tends to increase confidence and also humility, both of which facilitate the development of empathy."
It's a great feeling; it's encouraging, and a gentle massage to our self-confidence.
Without this experience, all but the most arrogant of us would soon be wracked with self-doubt, so it's certainly not a bad thing.
But... everything in moderation!
At time-of-writing I'm in the position of having a team who are incredibly comfortable in voicing their opinion. Whether they're just brutal or a little further along the spectrum than the average developer I can't be certain, but I do know I can rely on hearing their opinions.
Not a great environment if you're sensitive, but it does force me to challenge my views, thoughts, and actions on a regular basis. And on the assumption that I'm not always correct, which my wife assures me is the case, that's a great thing!
Why?
Because living inside your comfort zone 24/7 can only result in maintaining the status quo.To stay in that optimal spot between the comfort zone and a place that will cause you to panic you cannot stay in an echo chamber of carbon-copy opinions.
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| Not the bullseye, not the bullseye!! |
"[A person] does well to encounter those of whom she has little knowledge orthoses by whom she feels threatened or intimidated. The benefits of this broadening of social experience go far beyond a simple increase in understanding of actual people and groups she meets. In more general terms it tends to increase confidence and also humility, both of which facilitate the development of empathy."
- Mearns and Thorne*
You don't have to be comfortable with everything - no-one is. Richard Branson has made it to the top of the entrepreneurial tree without having any level of comfort in basic mathematics (he's dyslexic, but has harnessed it to his own ends). He has made sure over the years to push hard at challenges BUT not to spend time on unwinnable battles. Instead, he poured his energy into creating businesses and left the numbers to his accountants.
- Start a debate
- Get proved wrong
- React well
- Learn from it
- Improve.
Balance
And here comes my most commonly used word: BALANCE.
Though it's hard to tell if we're in the optimal zone it's safe to assume that if we experience no discomfort at all we might be a little too relaxed. On the contrary, if we are always uncomfortably on-edge, then it's also worthy of review.
"You need to place one foot in what you have mastered and understood and the other in what you are currently exploring and mastering... That is where there is something new to master and some way that you can be improved. That is where meaning is to be found."
- Peterson **
Pick your battles
If you're a firefighter and climbing a ladder makes you tremble, you definitely have something to address. But if you're a software developer it's less of a career-limiting factor.You don't have to be comfortable with everything - no-one is. Richard Branson has made it to the top of the entrepreneurial tree without having any level of comfort in basic mathematics (he's dyslexic, but has harnessed it to his own ends). He has made sure over the years to push hard at challenges BUT not to spend time on unwinnable battles. Instead, he poured his energy into creating businesses and left the numbers to his accountants.
So
- Get out of the echo chamber- Start a debate
- Get proved wrong
- React well
- Learn from it
- Improve.
Whenever I start working with a new client or a new team, whatever else I forget or leave behind, I'll hopefully go there as a slightly improved iteration of myself.
References:
* - Person-centered counselling in action.
Dave Mearns and Brian Thorne
ISBN: 0 8039 8050 7
https://uk.sagepub.com/en-gb/eur/person-centred-counselling-in-action/book238837
** - 12 Rules for life
Jordan Peterson
ISBN: 978 0 241 35163 5
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