It's a standard Saturday morning and I'm sitting working on my phone at the kids' dojo while they practice sparring drills. Their coach is giving them some feedback and I'm returning to feedback in this post.
When I wrote the last blog on Continuous (self) improvement I was thinking about it in the abstract and although I had many real-life examples in mind, I was then confronted with an opportunity to share an instance almost immediately after it occurred.
I write this the morning after a team social occasion (aka leaving drinks) and although I don't drink (medical reasons - don't judge me...) my colleagues certainly do. These events can be fertile ground for picking up people's feelings and frustrations at work.
Sometimes a shared rant is a bonding exercise
Sometimes it's an opportunity to let a teammate feel listened to.
And sometimes it's a chance to learn how people feel about you or your performance.
Over the years it's mainly been the first two but last night I was treated to the latter.
It somehow felt very appropriate so soon after the last blog post, as though I was being personally challenged to walk the walk, (I'm fairly certain that's not the case, as these chaps consider themselves far too cool to read any blog written by a Project Manager.)
While I definitely wouldn't recommend giving drunk feedback, I would always recommend listening to it. It may be less clear than sober office feedback and contain slightly fruitier language, but the level of honesty can be off the charts.
I mean it 100% when I describe all feedback as an opportunity. Of course, I never said opportunities are painless.
How did it feel?
Initially awful - a good sign that it might be of use.
They (and apparently the less vocal team members too) had evidently perceived a situation differently to me. It was a source of anxiety and the group had not felt as protected as I would have liked.
Obviously, in reality, I work hard to protect my team, so this felt like a real stinger. But as I'm often saying:
Perception matters - it trumps reality EVERY TIME.
How did I take it?
So that was the first challenge:
- Did I listen?
- Did I let them explain things from their perspectives without continual interruption?
- Was my reaction conducive to further feedback in the future?
- When I explained my perspective, was it calm, measured and not an attempt to be dismissive of them?
I think I acquitted myself well and can answer yes to all of the above - I'd ask for their thoughts but they appear to have very little recollection of the evening...
Something to learn?
Of course! It's very easy to under-communicate when protecting a team. But they're grown-up professionals. They need to know that they are taken seriously and that they are being fought for.
"It is not enough to deliver. You must be seen to have delivered or the value is diminished."
I've taken some time to consider my next steps and have some clear actions to take on Monday morning. It might have cost me a few hours sleep but it's an opportunity to improve that I'm grateful for.
Being a PM can be a lonely position at times and it's important not to take things too personally. Make all feedback a positive and it will benefit you mentally as well as professionally.
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